This too shall pass....

That's a little phrase I have always told myself for many many years now. It applies to today as well. I just need to keep telling myself alll day today that "this too shall pass" I am a nervous wreck and could not sleep. Lucky you! A bit of an early posting. However I have no pictures, nor have I even eaten breakfast. I know I will have oaties in some form.

Today after work I head to Russellville to do shopping/cooking for my Papa. I will be home late late tonight. I am not sure if I will post another "mega" day tonight or if I will wait until tomorrow. I DO know that my meals will consist of soup, soup, and more soup! ha! :o) See ya!

Hi All! It's 10:02 PM and I am just walking in the door! So I am going to make this short and sweet! :o) Let me start out by saying it's been a horrible "diet" day, but oh well. "This too shall pass.." that was my motto today right?! I like "it is what it is" better for today.

Okay Breakfast: Oaties made with 2/3 c skim, a banana mushed all in because of the need to eat "soft foods" and 12 chocolate chips. The mashed banana was weird and I didn't care for it. I like the whole bananas better but that involves chewing.. however you should see what else I ate today.

Lunch: Well this is funny. On my way to lunch I just had this feeling that I was forgetting something but just couldn't quite put my finger on it. I ate my entire lunch and was making hot tea when I realized I left my camera in the classroom! ha! So I am sorry. It was a VERY small lunch today. Progresso Healthy Something Veggie Beef (blah.) Mixed Fruit Sugar Free Jell-o with cool-whip (made with 3 cups of water instead of 2 because I was talking to the hubby! However it still tasted fine.) and a cup of hot tea. I only ate 2/3 of the soup-- you know enough to eat the veggies out. Now by the end of lunch I hadn't even consumed 400 calories.. shameful. So I was dying around 1:00. (my lunch is at 10:30 don't forget) I decided to have my new Blueberry Vanilla Mix 1 shake. (Blah) It smelled like rotten toes! I had to hold my nose to drink it. The kids thought it was funny though. I only drank half of it because I had no break time today and It coated my stomach enough.

Snack: I am stupid and forgot to pack or buy any portable "soft food". I KNEW I desperately needed calories and EVERYTHING so I decided to run by McDonald's for a hamburger because they're "soft". I am so stupid. See, the doctor needed to tell me a "no chew diet" instead of a "soft foods diet". I mean of course I had to CHEW the burger, that was gross by the way, but it did the trick. Even WITH the sammie I was well under cals, carb AND fat. So I didn't beat my self up about it. I just think it's ironic how I was JUST talking about how I don't want to put fast food in my body then I go get some. Well, I needed to get to R-ville and I was reminded of how gross McDonald's truly is.

My plans for the evening were to go to the store for my Papa, grab some soup there and cook dinner. That was a HUGE deciding factor in getting the hamburger! He However, had other plans. He wanted to go to Roy's. Roy's is a country BBQ place with NOTHING healthly. Oh well. :) Their salads are horrible because it's bag lettuce and no one orders them because.. well their BBQ is great. I decided to just go ahead and blow it and eat BBQ. My Papa LOVES to eat at Roy's so I just enjoyed my day with him. I do have to say that my favorite thing about this place is their ice water with lemon. It cracks me up everytime.

I had a BBQ Pork sammie on cornbread, baked beans and a baked potato. I also ordered cole slaw for my Papa that he literally MADE me share with him. All in all, I ate all of my BBQ 3/4 of 3/4 of cornbread, 1/4 of the beans, and about 3/4 of my potato. Oh yes, I had gosh.. however many bites of coleslaw he pushed toward me. We both wanted desert so we shared a banana pudding. IT WAS HEAVEN.... I enjoyed every last bite of it.. and it was even better because I got to share it with my Pap. I have no picture of this because by the time I had my camera ready to go-- he had his fork already in it and was going to town! He's so cute! He told me at least 5 times how much "better" I looked with my hair short. Man, I didn't know I looked so bad before! ha! :o)

I mean what do you do? Life happens. Sorry to disapiont anyone with my foods today. My ear feels a little better, I must say. It's all relative. So I am just going to eat SOFTER foods.. forget all this soup it's for people who have their jaws wired shut. (which hopefully isn't going to be me.)

Okay. Crappy day, but tomorrow will be better! ;o) I leave you with a truly adorable picture of my Papa. This will make you smile.

I'M ALIVE!!

I bet ya'll thought I died didn't you! I did too! Ha! It's been an extremely long day, thus the post starting at 8:30 PM. My wonderful Wednesday started off at the ENT's office at 7:40 in the AM. So obviously I take an audiology test and expected to fail it and find out that I have hearing loss in my left ear. Ooooh the contrary my friends. I have "above average, excellent hearing". Uhm pardon me but WTF?! So I begged to differ and questioned why I couldn't hear anything out my left ear. Yes, I don't hear AS WELL in my left ear as I do my right, but still it's excellent hearing. (of course I was weighed and it was a little hallelujah at the 26 lb loss!) While waiting in the room for the Doctor I was reminded why I used to HATE the ENT as a child. THOSE GIANT POSTERS!! The posters freak me out and make me nervous.. they're even worse at the dentists office. After the doc checks out my sinuses he pressed on my inner jaw and the pain was so unbearable I began to cry. He then pressed on my outter jaw as I creaked open my mouth. He immediately said "Well, I do think you have TMJ, a nice case of TMJ. Which is typically found in young women" Uhm.. What's a "nice case of TMJ?"! ha! Anyway, so now I get to go to the dentist (which I LOATH) in two weeks for an exam and medication and a bite plate. After my sweetie did some research we've found that TMJ is caused my multiple reasons...one of which being stress. I have been under A LOT of stress recently.. My Sweet Nana passed away, I worry and care for my Papa weekly, D's job, I hate my job, just drama. Anyhow this afternoon I had another "hypo attack" Well.. my sugar was PERFECT... thus I think these are stress induced as well. Not to mention my "sickness" that I've been having.. he says my sinuses are in perfect condition and I didn't need an antibiotic. Kids, I suffer from a bad case of the blues, plain and simple! I need some SUNSHINE! (not literally though because too much sunshine gives me a headache.)

Okay let's talk about food.

BREAKFAST: KASHI CAT FOOD and half of a banana. Now, this wouldn't have been so bad if D hadn't been saying "Gosh, that does look like cat food... yeah you're right it really DOES smell like cat food!" So it was all I had to keep spooning it in my mouth while silently reassuring myself that it indeed was NOT cat food!
LUNCH: REWIND... dinner from last night of course! It was so delish! You remember what it was... the noodles, lemon oil (I am SURE there is a more technical term but if you haven't learned, I kind of have my own language) broccoli, zucchini, and I think only 3 small bites of chicken. I also had a bit more cheese today. I also had my snow cream yogurt and some Uncle Sam's.
SNACKS: My friend Pammie was eating a soft pretzel with cheese so I HAD to have a bite! So good! She joked that I didn't take a picture of it first.. sorry it was just a bite. I also had a Chocolate Raspberry Luna Bar... Okay.. I am now officially not crazy about Luna Bars anymore.. this wasn't very good. Oh well, I can't eat them for a week anyhow! ha! :o)

The Doctor also put me on a soft foods diet so I had to go to the store this afternoon and get soft foods! I found lots of soup and yum yums. Look, if it makes me jaw and ear feel better I AM GAME! I also got my hair cut from my friend Aimee. (not the Aimee I've been talking about-- a different Aimee.)

Sorry I look like poo in the picture, like I said it's been a LONG day and I've been crying. (however, my Aimee 007 made me feel SO much better.. I ♥ Aimee 007!)The important part is the hair cut. THANK YOU AIMEE! Dinner.. I bought this soup that I've been wanting for WEEKS. Campbell's butternut squash soup. Horrible. Horrible.. it was too seasoned. So I had noodle soup (in my cutie bowl that made me feel better!) and about 10 multi grain crackers! I also had 1/2 c natural unsweet apple sauce with a little cinnamon. YUM!

Okay guys, Top Chef is on and I am missing it!! Not to mention the fact that my sweet husband who constantly saves my life and keeps me afloat is home. I love you all. Even the ones of you I don't know. :o)

Very Late Post.

Hi All!

Let's just start off saying that I am SO VERY excited to go to the ENT tomorrow I could just pee! I really want to know what is wrong with my left ear or my jaw or whatever. So many people I work with still have this "funk", you know this sickness. It's really hard to kick when you have 100's of grimy little germ infested hands touching you all day. Bless their little hearts. Praise little baby Jesus for GERM-X! ha! Okay.. so here's a re-cap of today's foods:

BREAKFAST: The berries yesterday really upset me, so I had banana oaties this morning. Now my bananas are in NO WAY ripe enough for me, but I thought it better than having to eat Kashi Cat Food again. So I made oaties, well D made them today, with 1/2 c skim (I use 3/4 c and they're much better!) a few splashes of soy (which I have decided THICKEN the oats.)cinnamon, 1/2 pkt of splenda, and 1/2 of a banana. I knew the oats weren't going to be that great due to the ill ripeness of my banana, I added 12 chocolate chips. I mean really.. do you ever NEED an excuse to eat chocolate?! I do need to eat it in more moderation than I am though. See, here lies my problem... if I let myself have something "just once" I will have it "just once" everyday. Which is why I need to be more strict on myself.

Lunch: I asked D to get me noodle soup last night when he got off work. He remembered the cat food but forgot my soup. I see where I rank! So I settled for peanut butter and jelly. Oh. My. Gosh. SO GOOD. I mean it really was. I used to eat pb & j daily before I changed my eating habits. As you know, I LOVE, liz-ove, me some peanut butter. My new Simply Fruit Jam is KILLER as well!! I loved my sammie. However, what I REALLY wanted to eat was Chuck... I mean Alan's spaghetti. He sits right beside me and was already eating when I came in..Mmm.. it looked and smelled wonderful. I have added a picture of it too! Anyway, back to what I ate. 2 slices of NVWW bread, 2 T peanut butter, 1/2 T Simply Fruit, Green Peppers (which are really gross with pb & j as you can imagine) sugar-free apple sauce with WAY Too much cinnamon, and a low fat cheese stick. All-in-all I was full and satisfied.

Around 2:30ish? I had a New Luna Bar.. Peanut Butter Cookie. Yet another flavor I will not be getting again. It had NO flavor. I need to remember what bars I don't like.. Let's see.. Peanut Butter Cookie and what else was it? The Brownie one!! Oh yes.. Sometimes I still think I taste that nasty aftertaste. Moving on.. at my meeting- we had snacks! Luckily there's usually something healthy to choose from. I had some broccoli, carrots and a piece of turkey. I went back for more broccoli and carrots later and added 5 sociable crackers. These are GREAT and the calorie/carb count is very low so I think I will buy some at the store. Although, crackers are another thing I limit from my diet because I know myself and I have a VERY hard time not just having "one more". One more turns into 50 more! No. Really.

Yesterday a lady that works at our school was there and she's lost a lot of weight! I am always interested in talking to people who are big fatties like me and seeing how they lost their weight. She's doing a terrific job! She just eats most anything in moderation.. even McDonald's. However, I don't want to put that type of greasy food in my system. At any rate, people with extreme weight loss give me so much hope and encouragement! Mandy, you're one of them by the way, who encourage me. Thanks for that. Thanks everyone for reading my blog! I have my little counter at the top and it's so great to see everyone reading :o) Love you guys.

Okay kids. I just got home and now it's time to clean the kitchen and prep for dinner!